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Impact ServicesThere will always be men struggling to change, and there will always be those who are controlled by the past. 6/2/2008 Talking about Aged like fine Wine 2006 This was taking some time ago, watch through the first 5 seconds to get to great grandmother. Quote Aged like fine Wine 2/18/2008 Loves Last Stand! part #1 At what price of giving up to love?Where to begin...hell how do I begin again when I should have already began. My wife moved out of the house to be more specific, I'm not here to talk about that but it does play a big part in this blog seccession in which I will be expressing myself.
Before I got married I was an espiring writer. I wrote poetry to express my self and to help those deal with there emotions through my poetry. Thinking back on it I didn't realize it kept my anger in check. I was giving myself self therapy and didn't even know it. As soon as I let the weight of the world weigh me down I eventually stopped writing. I'm going through some heavy things now, I'm hurt, pissed, angry, in love, etc. I used to qaush negative feelings through writing
I don't know if it's true but it seems like when I stopped writing I stopped letting people express there love for me. How's does writing and letting people express there love to me, through writing I expressed love.
I guess if I wrote more about receiving love I wouldn't be here writing this.
Loves Last Stand! part #3 The weight mon & dad & then the world!It's funny about the weight of the world, two reasons come to mind:
1. We are mostly molded into the same image as our parents up to a certain age, remember they were the first to raise us. Our well being is heavily influenced by our parents or those who raise us.
a. Didn't you ever hear 'Child your daddy use to do that' or ' You look just like your mother when you do that' how do I know, I don't remember him or her doing anything besides working and carrying the weight of the world on there shoulders and just doing the best they could with what the world left them with.
2. When we leave the home the weight of the world can pretty much raise us anew and wash away everything we believed in when we left our gaurdians. We change!
a. We leave behind a past that we wish we could recapture, 'Keeping it real like old school'
b. We are now free to do things that our parents never let us do like 'Playing doctor' with the neighbors daughter in the sand box.
c. We learn how the world can make us denounce all that mother and father taught us.
But isn't it the weight of our parents greater then that of the world? I wonder how I got out of so much trouble, must have been all those ass beatings father gave me! But yet at the same time it seems that that there weight is holding me down more then the world, I don't know maybe I'm to much like them, maybe they were to much like those who raised them.
I'm just trying to break the mold; furthermore, I'm sure the world would want me to follow in our fathers footsteps. Loves Last Stand! part #2: Regretting AngerI don't even know why I'm putting my business out here in cyber space, am I trying to convince the world how much I love this woman, or am I just regretting the decisions I've made over the last few years and trying to convince everyone that I'm not a bad person...just a man growing and maturing and will be doing so until the day I die. I'm sure I can't convince my wife that I changed or will change, I mean who changes who they are over night, who creates new habits over night? I quit smoking cold turkey before in one night but that change only last some three months, therefor the change did not take place and the habit still existed. It even takes time for the change to go into effect, anyone can change over night but how long will the change last? How long does it take to create new habits by breaking old ones?
Someone told me one time that I where my emotions on my sleeves, is that a good thing or a bad thing, I mean what does that actually mean? Someone else has told me that that I get verbally hostile when they don't realize that all I'm doing is exercising anger release tactics which helps me release anger by expressing myself through my emotions as it were on my sleeve. Through expression one can release anger. I'm not yelling at you I'm wish you would listen to me because we are friends and I need someone to talk, but even friends would just assume tune you out or take offense as if I'm being hostile. Who wants to hear other people's problems?
If us as a people would would stop being socially manipulated into surpressing our anger and emotions we might be better off and more in tune with our inner well being.
Instant gratification has no place in the world for me; however, I'm at fault as well for microwaveable food. Time and patience gives more gratification to me in the long run because it allows me to answer most of these questions have. My answers my be different then most but it the conclusions we come to within our well being that gets us through the day. When dealing with a love one it's hard to express yourself when you surpress your fears and anger thinking that your superman and you don't need anybody but yourself to handle those emotions that can destroy you, fear and anger is at it's core a part of us weather we like it or not. 12/20/2007 Destinee's Christmas Dance Conert 2007Well here she is, her first dance concert. Destinee has been taking dance for about a year now, I started her off in a little studio doing ballet and she also did ballet in school. After about 4 or 5 months of that I finally put her in a somewhat real dance school called Pilchuck Dance Academy. She goes there 1 hours on Wed, and 2 hours on Saturday, (probably more exercise than I get in a month) At this school she is in dance competition along with tap and ballet. She has her first cometition in Feb. I can't wait for that! I don't believe in that most people say about how children grow so fast, because for me it seems that she has been around longer than what her 4 yr. old age implies. I will admit I will say that I'm not a baby type guy and will also admit that her being a baby has come and gone pretty fast, but now that she is this little person she is my little homegirl. I'll keep her in dance for as long as I can, now I know how tough it was for my father to put me into Hockey all those years. Since Destinee is in dance competition she will get to travel to places like Florida, North Carolina, etc... just to name a few. Alot of parents who have already been through the grind of being a dance competition parent have really helped me out alot, and if you read this THANK YOU! I've already gotten kicked out of the dressing room (don't read that the wrong way, it happened only one time) Since Destinee is with me most of the time I have to help her get ready, but that is for practice, I didn't know I couldn't help her in the dressing room, some of the mother's thought it was funny and they took over. All in all I hope you all enjoy these pictures as I did taking them. Now I have to go look for another job because baby sister is growing as well.
If you ever read this Destinee when you get bigger remember to always do what you love to do and do your best at it and never forget to smile when doing it.
When keeping it real stays black!
An emotional joyride into the well being of human nature!
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Bugs & Insect type movies
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